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Male on Male and Female
on Female
Many people believe
that rape and domestic violence do not occur in same sex relationships.
It is often believed that sexual violence is a way for a man to
assert power over a woman. But,
sexual assault can occur in any relationship regardless of the genders
involved. Women may use
sexual violence as a way to control other women and men to control other
men. It is important to treat
same sex assault seriously.
Rape is NOT a sexual
act. Rape IS an act of
control and domination. The
rapist uses the act as a way of asserting power over the victim.
Sexual assault includes any unwanted sexual activity.
Rape does NOT relate
to sexual orientation. Rape
is not “gay” or “straight”. Same
sex sexual assault does not necessarily mean that the victim or the
perpetrator is gay. Again,
rape relates to power and control.
There is no single
or typical emotional response to sexual assault.
A survivor may feel calm, rational, angry, depressed, helpless,
ashamed, or any other emotion. It
is common for survivors to experience self-blame and to feel embarrassed
about sexual assault. It is
important to remember that it is not the survivor’s fault.
Woman to woman
sexual assault is not spoken about because most definitions of sexual
assault include penile penetration. However,
sexual assault includes oral and anal penetration as well as violation by
objects and fingers. It is important to remember that women can be
perpetrators as well as survivors.
Within
the gay and lesbian community:
It may be harder for
gay and lesbian survivors to come forward when they are sexually
assaulted. It may feel as
though one is stating to the world that they are gay.
Fear of facing homophobia and prejudice may keep gay and lesbian
survivors from coming forward in certain situations.
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52% of gay men
and lesbians reported at least one incident of coercion by a same sex
partner. (National Crime
Victimization)
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While same-sex
battering mirrors heterosexual battering both in type and prevalence,
its victims receive fewer protections.
Barnes, "It's Just a
Quarrel," American Bar Association Journal (Feb. 1998).
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Same-sex abusers
use a form of abuse similar to those of heterosexual batterers, but
they also have an additional weapon in the threat of
"outing" their partner to family, friends, employers, or
community.
Lundy, Abuse That Dare Not Speak
Its Name: Assisting Victims of Gay Domestic Violence in Massachusetts,
Winter (1993).
Resources:
Gay Men’s
Domestic Violence Project, 1-800-832-1901, www.gmdvp.org
Provides community
education and other services to gay, bisexual and transgendered male
victims and survivors of domestic violence.
National
Organization on Male Sexual Victimization, www.malesurvivor.org,
1-800-738-4181
The only national
non-profit organization dedicated to addressing male sexual abuse.
Rape and Incest
National Network, www.rainn.org, 1-800-656-HOPE
National
organization for men and women who have survived sexual violence
Gay Men and
Lesbians Opposing Violence (GLOV); (202) 452-7448
Suggested
Reading:
Girshick,
Lori B. Woman-to-Woman
Sexual Violence: Does She
Call it Rape? Northeastern
University Press: Boston. 2002.
Scarce,
Michael. Male
on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll
of Stigma and Shame. Insight
Books: NY. 1997.
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