Adult Sexual Assault Survivors

Emotional Effects

People react and cope differently after being raped, so it is important to respect your choices and individual way of coping. At the same time, many rape survivors find it helpful to know that some emotions and reactions are very common. These reactions can be very confusing and upsetting, but they are normal. Common reactions and emotions people have are:

Guilt

Many survivors of rape feel guilty. Our culture tends to blame the victim of rape. No one deserves to be raped, even if they drink to excess, dress in revealing clothing, or consent to other sexual activity, like kissing. Being raped is never your fault.

Fear

It is normal to feel afraid after being raped. Rape is frightening. Some survivors find it hard to be alone or in a setting that is like one in which they were raped.

Avoidance

It is common to avoid or want to avoid anything that has to do with the assault. Many survivors also avoid getting assistance because it reminds them of the assault. Although avoidance can initially assist in coping, most survivors find it is not a long-term solution.

Anger

It’s normal for a survivor to feel angry with the rapist, people they love, themselves, or the world. Feeling angry can be an important part of healing emotionally after a rape.

Distrust

It may also take a while for a survivor of rape to feel able to trust people again. If they were raped by someone they knew, the survivor may feel a loss of confidence in their sense of judgment about other people. If they were raped by a stranger, the survivor may feel like they can’t trust people they don’t know.

Loss of control

Survivors of rape often feel out of control or powerless. They have been robbed of control over their bodies. One of the most important facets of emotional healing from this experience is regaining control.

Numbness

Sometimes it takes a while for survivors of rape to feel anything at all. One of the ways people sometimes cope with crisis is to go numb.

Re-experiencing

Many survivors find they have nightmares, flashbacks, or intrusive thoughts about the rape. This re-experiencing can sometimes feel almost as difficult to cope with as the rape itself. These disruptions can make it difficult to sleep or to concentrate.